My Thoughts of Him Again

There is a song that is an addicting tune for now. I discovered this song this morning while drinking my coffee. It's called "Lost on You" by LP. So this song is beautiful and perfect; my mind is engaged, and my thoughts are with the alcoholic guy! What the effers... I was driving to the meeting this morning, listening and singing this song all the way to town. I ended up reminiscing about the guy. I don't know why; maybe I am laying his memory to rest. My mind was in deep thought of him. His eyes and his voice, the way his mouth tasted. Oh gosh, here I go again... One of the memories I am about to tell you is intimate. So, if you have virgin eyes and want to keep your mind clean, do not continue to read.

When I was with him the last time, this was his birthday. We were intimate at his place; it was fun. We had just got back from playing our game of stop and go. We were so into each other that we had our moment outside his place. He lives in the country, so there are hardly any public bystanders. Except for far away neighbors, I enjoy having risky fun, like almost getting caught doing something like sex. I don't know why; I suppose it's the thrill of it all. The closeness of him on top of me was so sexy and hot. Both of us sweating on each other. I whispered in his ear, and he whispered in mine, kissing each other and holding each other close. I held him tight like I wanted him to enter my soul. He'd ask me a question, and I'd whisper softly in his ear, begging him. Telling him in my soft voice, "Be gentle, baby... Will you be nice to me?" His response was agonizing, "Yes," he said, "I will be gentle," in return, I whispered into his ear, "Promise, baby?" I held him close and pushed him deep inside me as much as possible. He finally engaged in a relieved sound... his sweat dripped on my face as he moaned. I just looked at him and wiped his face and forehead. He removed himself from me, and his face was as if he was speechless. He smiled and shook his head. He said, "I don't know about you," all I could say was, "What do you mean?" I smiled at him; he walked over to his place and stood in front of a fan blowing in his face, smiling. I held his hand and said, "You are so sexy." 

After our encounter, I left to give him some time to do his work around his house. I let him do his work, our last close intimacy of almost spiritual connection. This was the memory I was thinking about this morning while driving to my meeting. I would have everything to do with this man if he didn't drink so much alcohol; his drinking always ruined everything. If I could only get what I want. It's never that easy, and it is never fair. This song brings to my mind all the memories of being close to him, especially the last time I was with him. For some reason, I know I'll encounter him someday. Or maybe he will finally find that woman he has always wanted. I suppose putting the memory to rest is good. If you read my memory of intimacy and think I'm a weirdo, then so be it. But can you honestly think that even your memories don't bring up intimate, sexy encounters like mine? Sometimes, it just sneaks into your mind to remind you of what was and is to come. Life goes on, and we take the memories with us to enjoy what we had one time in our lives.