Schedules and memories

Wow already the third day of October, there is nothing better than a very cool morning and a cool day with the leaves changing than this time of the year. It’s the most beautiful time of the year yet the shortest of the year. Fall makes me happy and it makes me content at the moment to see the change in the weather and the change in the time. This morning it was a tough time to get out of bed, so nice and snuggly in the morning while the rain is slowly pouring down. Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine, I had told him my dilemma of my not cleaning sickness and my not so organized life. His response was, “Oh you’re just going through a phase…” I thought to myself, “A phase eh” it’s interesting how people think it’s so easy to change. I had a comment on my blog from my cousin whom I love very much, tell me that it was “simple really.” Then she continued about her position as a mother and her kids, then she mentioned her mother, which is the sister to my mom. Then I thought about my mother, I learned a lot from her, she was the most perfect to me, if there was any on this earth she was one of them. Of course we all know our mothers are the best, in any case my mom she was the super homemaker for sure. She was the model for me to take care of a home for her kids and for her husband. I remember always waking up early along with her and sitting in the kitchen sipping on some coffee while she cooked breakfast for my dad and for my baby brother. She seemed to love taking care of her men at home, while my dad slept my mom was preparing for him. When it was time she’d get him up and my dad would struggle to get out of bed. I can still hear her, “Honey! It’s time to wake up, get up honey.” She was so caring toward my dad, when he was ready, mom would greet him out the door with his coffee in hand. After his leaving for work mom and I would end up in the living room watching her Good Morning America show or the Today Show, which I can’t stand anymore. Since they are a liberal media farce, anyway I looked up to her as a good house wife, she was very clean and very organized woman. I think about her and then I look at myself and think, “What the hell happened to me?” My mom had a habit she had kept for years while I grew up as a child into adulthood, she would make it a point to clean every Saturday that was cleaning day, unless there was plans for Saturday then it was Friday. When I was on my own I tried to keep the schedule she had, clean on Saturday and make it a cleaning/laundry day. It worked, I would clean my bathroom so good and the house would smell so good! I loved it, I had my own place with my own cleaning schedule and I ran every single day, at least 2-3miles a day. At that time I was 24yrs old and I was single with not a care in the world, well I was hoping for mister right but I always got mister wrong. I often to this day think of my moment if life where I was clean and I was so, so organized somewhat. In that moment of my life I was happy, it was just me and it was just my dog and cat, it was not too messy and it was delightful. I love my kids don’t get me wrong they are a true blessing to my life, they make me laugh and I am never alone. This year I find it hard for me to let my kids go and spend a week at my family’s home while I am here working my tail off. Although they do make a mess and never pick after themselves, they are my pride and joy. This is the area I often think about, my kids and my parenting skills. I should teach them responsibility but I am not, I should set up a cleaning schedule chart for them but I’m not. Households everywhere give their children chore lists and here I am, I do not. Wow what a great group of people who do these things, as a child growing up we didn’t have that either. My mom always picked up after us, then as we got older she would give us the task to wash the dishes which I hated and to this day really hate. She would always ask me to cook dinner for the family all the time and I would, and she’d have us out there in the heat to pull weeds and rake them up with her. She was good at getting us to do the job, but aside from that, she had our daddy to push us a bit more to help. Each year starting in at the end of August we would go out and gather wood for the long winter season and then go rabbit hunting with daddy. Mom would always get her stuff ready for the cook out in the desert, always made tortillas and then a big meal to go along with it. I loved my mom’s tortillas and her fry bread, no one makes it as good as our mothers. It true, other tortillas made from others do not compare to my mom’s, then again I love my aunties cooking on my dad’s side of the family. They are all excellent chefs, I love going to the rez and eating with my family, they are the best at taking care of family and getting things done as it should be. Of course they live with minimal things such as water, they still haul their water and they live off of solar panels and some still have their out houses by their homes. The old way of life is the best, even now with the minimal things than off the rez they have cleanliness and they have organization in their homes. It’s homey and it’s so cozy how they live, then there’s my home where it’s not cozy and it’s not organized at all. I wish I had a fairy god mother who would just wave her wand at me and make me a super mom with the power to get organized. That would be so awesome! “Wishes”… my ex hubby has always told me, “You can wish in one hand and shit in the other, now which one do you think will pile up faster? The wish or the shit?” He was somewhat wise…