I Don't Think Delusional, But He Thinks I Am

When the tides are broken it tends to be weird and strange. Last night, I confessed my deepest inner secretive feelings, words that may have sounded delusional but they were true. In the moment when I told him, I felt free from the grips of fear and felt the solitude of contentment. Texan, didn't say much, and I know that of him. This is what makes him who he is, just a beautiful, wonderful man. There are some things you can tell a man and some things you would rather not. Last night I had to confess what I have held all these months that I have known him. Some of the things that were said were, "I cry about you every day, and when you leave I will cry even more." I could not keep the confessions in, "When I love someone, I get this sick feeling in my stomach, and when they leave it gets worse where I can't eat and when I do, I can't keep it in." The feelings of things that happen to me continue to be spoken as how I am when I fall in love. His response was, "That's not good. Don't do that." Then in response, "I get depressed, but it's a depression that only lasts a few months and then I will be good again." He stayed silent, and in those few moments, I don't think he wanted to know. I don't think he wanted to believe it was my deepest confession that I was feeling for him. In my heart, I knew that I needed to tell him because in all my life I have never met a man like him. I know that I will love Texas till the day that I die and when he leaves, I will let him go knowing that he was the greatest love of my life. I will forever have beautiful memories tucked away in my mind and in my heart. When I continue to live on this earth, I will eventually die, but I know that I will die knowing that I have loved very deeply and very true, and I will pass away content with the life I lived. I am thankful he is in my life, and I am thankful he will be forever. This is the deepest confession of a single 50-something-year-old woman.