Sometimes there are encounters that seem would be something as a regular thing. In my brain, I have seen dating life as the kind of thing where meeting someone who is just a guy would last for a moment. Admittingly, I will tell you that I date just to be with men. Honestly, I date to feel the closeness of men close to me, skin-to-skin and kissable. Have I thought of a long-term thing? At times there were a few that made me think, maybe this time I could. Honestly, I didn't think it would be possible to have something like that. Especially, for myself, as I have stated my dating life consists of no long-term ideal situations such as a relationship. The short-term relationships that I have had have always been a secretive kind because I was always used to being the one kept in the dark. Always calling on me when they needed me, I am used to that. Never, had I had an encounter where I would be seen with someone and enjoy it!
Aside from the past men who kept me in their rooms as I knew it, it was the kind of life I was content with. It was going to be the norm in my life, due to the fact that I didn't think I could experience a public kind of engagement. I have had two of these men in my life who wanted to be seen with me in public, the other one who is not my kind of guy, I wished he was, only because I liked him and enjoyed him. I mentioned he is the difficult one whom I have called my soul tie. Unfortunately, he is, and has the little side activity of drinking alcohol from time to time, but is totally fun to be with. I think that is what makes it tough to try to forget him. To explain one of our escapades, there were crazy activities we would do. We have a game we would play while driving around town at night. He called it the stop-and-go game. Where I would stop at a stop light or stop sign and initially give him pleasure at the stop sign or light. Then he would let me know when it was time to go. We'd drive on the country roads to play this game in broad daylight and when night came we'd head to town to play stop-and-go. I have to admit, this was my favorite game. In other instances, he would persuade me to drive topless, his eyes made me do it. I don't know what it is about this guy, but he would say it and I would do it. But! I was careful not to do what made me feel uncomfortable, if it was not something I wanted he wouldn't push the issue anymore. Except this last time together and it was the last time, I was going to agree because his eyes and his voice were my downfall. We were supposed to do something together that involved another man. I thought it was something that I could do, something that I wanted. However, it was not. I chickened out of it and told him "no", that was the last time I was with him.
Sometimes, when you encounter someone like this you think it's what you want, when in all actuality it is all about him. Do you know what the bad part of this is? It is that the guy could give two fucks about me. Right now, I am not even a thought in his brain or a feeling in his heart. It amazes me about human beings and granted, I am the same way, except when the guy has made a place into your soul it becomes hard to live. Yes, this man became my soul tie and it is difficult to kinda be with someone else, especially in the dating world. But good news! I am dating another man who is kind of breaking that cycle for me. The sad part of this is that he is only here for a while and then he goes back to Texas. This is where he is from and I met him on Tinder, great guy and so sweet with some sexy on top. I enjoy being with him, he is so funny and so adoring to me, he treats me like a queen. I have never met a man who treats me like a human being, I was not sure of him and how this was going to go down. The first week of meeting him was super fun, and I have to admit I am a live-on-the-edge kind of woman. We were together one night which was oblivious and very exciting and sexy. So, we ended up staying late out on Main Street, There were a few busy by-passers, but it was safe enough to make a quick steamy encounter in public. Have I ever done this before? I have had public encounters before. It can be exciting and very fun, my date had fun, to be clear he courted me for a week till we couldn't take it anymore. It was my most memorable moment with this nice guy.
The dates continue and I am amazed at how comfortable I am with him. In the back of my mind, I know this is a temporary thing that we have, and then eventually he will go home and meet other women to date. Because he is in a job that keeps him busy with traveling from one place to another. I am preparing myself when the time comes, I have my heart intact at the moment, but I also know I am a free woman, I have opportunities to carry on. The one thing about this situation is that it is a good run at knowing that I am capable of being in a long-term relationship. I am thankful I met this man because if I had never met this man and allowed him to be with me, I would've never realized this amazing thing that I made it this far and I am ready for a relationship. So, really, this wonderful encounter is a blessing to me, he is a blessing to my life.
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